The Brooklyn Pub

We decided to have a girls night out with some friends at The Brooklyn Pub. As Danelle and I were getting ready we were practicing our Brooklynese.

Me: Yo, notfuhnuttinbut I'm dyin for some fish n chips ova heeya.

Danelle: Are you seriously going to wear that?

Me: What are yous busting my bools ova heeya, goombah?

But alas, nobody in Brooklyn speaks like this anymore; it's full of white hipsters and is now totally devoid of all personality. It's ironic that hipsters pride themselves for not going with the flow, but the neighborhoods that they take over become full of people exactly like them. But I digress. The Brooklyn Pub is nothing like this. It is chock full of personality.

It's on Chestnut Street in Dunmore. As you approach you can see patio heaters which give the illusion that there's a cozy fire on the patio. It's super cute.

The above photo is from their Facebook page. It's a little different looking for the winter yet still inviting. We wanted to take our own picture, but it would have meant standing outside in 0 degree weather without a glove trying to take a good pic in the dark.

Inside is tastefully decorated as well. It used to be Gubbio's and was pretty dated, but the new owner George Kelly polished it up nicely. He said it cost him thousands of dollars to remove the stench of cigarette smoke from the place, and of course made it a non-smoking establishment.  If you want to know how I feel about it still being legal to smoke inside of bar/restaurants here, see my previous blog post   http://twogirlseatingout.blogspot.com/2011/07/guns-dont-kill-people-smokers-kill.html
Anyway, George is actually from New York, and he's the nicest guy you will ever meet.

The place is bi-leveled: the lower level is the bar and the upper is a cozy room with a pool table as the main focus and a few high top tables.

The menu is comfort foods, mostly. Fish and chips, mac n' cheese, burgers, paninis, salads, oh, and check this out - pierogis! They also sometimes have shepherd's pie as a special. 
We all had the fish n' chips except for Lynne, who had the scallops. They use fresh cod, which is quite a coup for Dunmore, and it was delicious.

Lynne said her scallops were good. They came on a bed of fettuccine, so of course our favorite Italian had to ask for a spoon to "eat it properly".  I don't get this and never have. Each mouthful seems like so much work. When Danelle and I told her that we cut our pasta, the record stopped. She looked at us like we just pooped on the table. Seriously. I'm not even sure if we're still friends. She had that "You're dead to me" look in her eyes.
I also ask for a fork when there are only chopsticks on the table. Nothing must slow down the delivery of food to my mouth. Nothing.

They have a decent selection of beer on tap. 16 varieties, I think. Their happy hour specials are pretty good: $5 martinis and $1.00 off all beers. The staff is competent and friendly. See, we're not impossible to please!

They have a Valentine's Day dinner special (as does every restaurant in town), which means we will be having dinner at home tonight. Anyway, you can check out the menu and specials on their Facebook page:  https://www.facebook.com/thebrooklynpubdunmore?ref=br_tf

To summarize, good food, good people, nice ambiance. Put this place on your must visit list. You'll love it, I promise!

 

Nonno's Pizza

Nonno's Pizza in Moosic is across the road from the Montage movie theater. This may explain why it was absolutely packed when we went there.
Our intention was to grab a quick bite to eat before meeting family for drinks. That's not what happened. Let me tell you all about it.

We go in and it's a full house, so we have to wait maybe 15 minutes for a table. That leaves plenty of time to take in the ambiance, or lack thereof. I would describe this place as neutral. It's big, with a vaulted ceiling. The floor tiles are brown slate, the walls are off white, the tables are brown, the booth upholstery is beige. And the walls are totally bare. Not one picture. I entertained myself by reading the exit sign over and over. Probably the most non-inviting place we've ever been to. And it's chilly, so after coming in from the winter cold and expecting warm relief, you just never really get it.

Finally we're seated. I order iced tea and Danelle orders a Shiner Bock. The server comes back with my tea but not the beer. Ten minutes later and still no beer. So Danelle flags down the server as she's whizzing by and asks if they forgot about the beer. The server shrugs her shoulders and with a there's-nothing-I-can-do-about-it look says, "I'm waiting on the bartender for that." Really? For a bottled beer? Ok, five minutes later the beer appears.

As we peruse the menu, I realize that the reason for the crowds are the low prices. This is definitely the cheapest Italian place we've ever seen.

I ordered the Old Forge style pizza and Danelle ordered eggplant parmesan. After about 15 more minutes Danelle's salad and bread arrives. The rolls are good; they're warm and taste like onion and herbs. Here's me eating like a caveman because we didn't get bread plates.

We dared not ask for any because we could all be dead by time we got them. It wasn't just that she forgot to bring out plates - it's just not their policy to use them, based on looking around at other people's tables. And don't get me started on the salad. Seriously, I can write a whole blog post on the salad atrocities committed by restaurants. I'm saving that for another post.

Finally, (by now we have some long, thick flowing beards) the food arrives! We got here at 5:30, and were supposed to meet family at 7:00. It's now 7:00.
The pizza is good. Not great, good. Danelle's portion of eggplant parm is tremendous. It's roughly the size of a newborn baby. And it comes with salad and pasta or fries.
But here's the thing: it's clearly been microwaved. There are really hot spots and really cold spots, so it's not all that enjoyable. But she did say it was good flavor wise.

As I write these reviews, I wonder, are we just picky bitches who are impossible to please? No! No I tell you! We would forgive slow service if the food was great, or if it was a real cool place to hang out, but this place had none of that going on.

I must mention one really cool aspect of this place: they sell six-packs of beer to go! If you're from another state, you're thinking, "So? Big deal!" If you're from Pennsatucky, you know this is a big deal. Nobody here does that, because of some ancient puritanical alcohol laws that are still on the books.  I don't know who they had to blow to make it legal, but I hope all pizza places follow suit.

Anyway, we finally get out of there and meet my sister and her husband at the Brooklyn Pub in Dunmore, which turns out to be the polar opposite of Nanno's. It's an awesome place that will be the subject of the next post. Stay tuned.

Bar Hill - A Long Overdue Review

This is our very favorite place to be. We love it so much that we got married here. Seriously! And we highly recommend getting married in a bar.

Located on the corner of Prescott and Ash Streets in the Hill Section of Scranton, it's a small place with great ambiance. Cozy, inviting, and friendly. It's a wonderful place to have drinks with friends. Even if you go alone, you will probably end up having a conversation with others at the bar. They have acoustic music on certain nights. Usually on Thursday, Nowhere Slow plays. They're really good. We rarely stay there past 9:00, though. I've found that from 5:00 to 9:00 the more mature crowd hangs out, and then the young hipsters come in for the music later.


This is what they call a small plate restaurant. Eric Piccotti, the owner, wanted to classify it as a tapas restaurant, but here in Scranton, foreign words are scary. Here is a typical reaction of a Scrantonian hearing the term "tapas":

Stosh: Tapas!? Jesus Haich Christ, what are yas in a turd world country?
Yosh: Haina or no?

When (not if) you go, you should try the lobster nachos. Dear God, there are no words. If you find yourself licking the plate, do not feel self conscious. It's expected.
We like the specials. Every day they do a different soup, salad, Panini and bruschetta.

If good help really is hard to find, then Bar Hill got incredibly lucky, because every single person who works there is exceptional. They're more than staff to us; they are our friends. And a good-looking bunch, aren't they?

 

As bartenders, they are pretty creative and feature a different original drink every night. Last night I decompressed with Sean's Raspberry Surprise Martini. Okay, so I had three of them. On an empty stomach. They use fresh ingredients in their drinks and they don't even have crappy bottom shelf liquor. This place is classy. We're not. That's why we love it here; it makes us feel classy.

Also gotta give a shout out to the owners Peggy and Eric Piccotti. They are the coolest and kindest people you could ever meet. And that's what sets this place apart from the rest. They make you feel like family.

So don't waste your time in shitty dive bars getting cancer from second hand smoke. Go to Bar Hill. Now. Hurry! And like them on facebook! https://www.facebook.com/BarHillScranton

No Soup For You!

Still no kitchen. It's been a year of building one from scratch. And it's going to kick ass when it's finally done. It will be the greenest, leanest, cleanest kitchen in town. New concrete floor with radiant heat, state-of-the-art boiler and tankless, on-demand hot water heater, the latest advancement of spray foam insulation. And finally the drywall is going up. We're doing it ourselves, so it may take a while.
In the meantime, though, we still have to dine out. And it is getting so very old. I proposed living off of cereal, but Danelle put the kibash on that.
We've eaten at some really great places, but also at a lot of duds. Which got me thinking: what makes a restaurant a dud? Aside from bad food or service, we've compiled a list of annoying, stupid, or vile things that these establishments are guilty of.

1.   Sub-zero temperatures. Why do they do this? Have you ever walked into a restaurant in the middle of summer in your shorts only to find that the place is so cold you can hang meat in there? (Not that there's any hanging meat when we're around. I'm not gonna lie, we're pretty hot. Except when we're cold).

2.   The table has been wiped with a rag that smells like ass. No explanation needed here.

3.   Wobbly tables. Is it really going to break the bank to buy a few !^%#@& wedges?

4.   Crappy off brand coffee and tea. This can really ruin breakfast. Danelle is a coffee drinker and I drink tea.  Speaking of tea, how about water that has actually been boiled so that the tea can steep properly? Can't tell you how many places put the water through the coffeemaker then put it on the warmer plate. Fail.

5.   Crappy soda. Of course I'm talking about RC and Diet Rite. Or places that mix and match the tap lines (and don't clean them) so that root beer tastes like Sprite or vice versa.

6.  Seating you in the screaming baby section. And if you think that asking to be seated in the bar will put you away from the screaming babies, you are wrong. Babies in our area love the bar. This is where they get their training. We also love being seated next to the trashcan or right on top of other diners, even when there are tons of other available seats in the restaurant.

7.   Ambiance: No music or country music. I don't know which is worse. Ok, country music is worse than no music. But no music makes the experience just plain creepy.

8.   No soap in the bathroom. Really? But...employees must wash hands before leaving restroom. No soap.....really??? Eeeew.

9.   A teeny, tiny, miniscule dab of butter between two huge pieces of dry toast. Why bother? Nobody's going to eat dry, boring toast. You wouldn't eat your toast like this at home, Mr. Cook, so why do you think we enjoy this?

10.  The Bum's Rush. The food arrives and then 10 seconds later, the check.


There you have it; a year's worth of frustration. But I'd like to end on a positive note.

Last night we ate ate La Tonalteca in Dickson City, in front of the Viewmont Mall. We love it there! And Wednesday night is $2.99 Margarita night. We thought that since they were so cheap that they wouldn't be strong, but were we ever mistaken. I couldn't even write the review when we got home, because it ended up sounding like incoherent rambling. Or like something Michelle Bachmann would say. Anyway, after one drink my toes were warm. And the food is pretty darn good too.

 http://authenticmex.com/restaurants/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=16&Itemid=16

We've actually been to many other good places that need to be reviewed, but I don't get a chance to blog often anymore, because we are busy with the drywall, spackle and studs. Oh the life of two girls with no kitchen.

The Banshee

So we both work from home now, and are absolutely heady with freedom. Which led us to have a late lunch at The Banshee. Nothing is more irreverant than having a beer at lunch, and having to answer to no one. Yeah, that's right, I had a beer at lunch. And now I'm going back to work. And if you don't like it, screw you. (Ok, I confess that I haven't done anything like this since the 80's).
The Banshee is one of my favorite places in Scranton. It's on Penn Ave, on the same block as B. Levy Shoes. Does anyone remember that place? Now it's a Redwing store or something like that. Anyway, back to The Banshee. They have it all: a great variety of beers, wonderful food, and a really cool ambiance. I heard this place used to be some kind of pants wholesaler back in the day. Not sure if that's accurate, but it's a delightful building, which they lovingly restored. Hammered tin ceilings, beautiful staircase, and amazing built in bookshelves (stocked with books!).

Danelle had her usual, the turkey melt (she says it's always a winner). I had the Whistling Pig. This is ham and cheese on a soft pretzel with a honey mustard sauce. I have to say, this might have been the best sandwich I've ever had. I can also vouch for the deliciousness of the fish and chips. My only critique would be that the portion is small (regarding the fish and chips only).
We also had Yuengling drafts (they have $2 drafts all day everyday). Ok, we had two. Each. And I am growing to love this local staple.
The Banshee rocks. Whether you go for lunch or to have a few drinks and watch some live entertainment, (it's especially charming when the Irish Balladeers are playing) it's the place to go!

Guns Don't Kill People, Smokers Kill People. And Other Random Thoughts.

Disclaimer: This is gonna be a weird one. I'm tired.

Ah, Pennsyltucky. Home of archaic liquor laws (i.e., liquor will only be sold from 2:00 to 2:10 on Wednesday, at one of tens of  distributors in the state, and the buyer must be wearing a scarlet letter, and present proof of having been to church on Sunday) and that last bastion of civilization, smoking in restaurants and bars. If you are from here, this is the norm. If you've ever been anywhere else, you know this is totally fucked up. If you're coming to Scranton, don't forget to set your watch back 100 years.

Not all bars/restaurants are allowed to cater to smokers, there's some kind of weird rule regarding what percentage of food sales the establishment does. But it's more than enough to cramp our style. If we want to go out for a drink, we usually go to The Banshee, because so far, it's one of the few bars that doesn't allow smoking. And the food is pretty good.

We recently visited the Twelve Penny Saloon in Moosic:
  http://12pennysaloon.com/home.html
It's a gay bar, and a cool place. Pool table, cute bartender, and friendly people. But we won't be back. Why? Because we've misplaced our government issued gas masks from our military days. We came out of there smelling like an ashtray and sounding like Bea Arthur. And we actually stripped before entering the house and left our clothes on the porch to air out. I'm not kidding! Luckily it was late and the neighbors were sleeping.We've toyed in the past with the idea of someday owning our own bar. It would be a lesbian bar, and we'd call it "The Wet Spot". Or maybe "The Watering Hole". But I digress.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not trying to outlaw smoking altogether (though it would be nice). I could care less if you want to kill yourself. Just don't try to kill me. Lots of other states got it right. In California, you step outside to smoke. It's that simple. So c'mon, Pennsylvania, lets get with the 19th century.

I've been slacking with the blog lately. There are a ton of restaurants that we've been to that we haven't gotten around to reviewing. I'm thinking of condensing reviews; maybe just two columns even, like sucks and doesn't suck. I also welcome guest reviewers. And have been thinking of doing a "best of " list. Like the best soup in town, etc.

Meanwhile, if anyone has any suggestions for smoke-free bars, please comment!

Revisions and Rants

Is there anything more disgusting than a hair in your food? No. It's the pinnacle of revolting. And it happened. Again. Twice at the same restaurant. And that restaurant is...drum roll please....Dino and Francescos.
I'm thinking this guy is the cook there:

The first one was in a pizza we ordered to go. Danelle was so grossed out she stated that she'll never eat there again. I, however, chalked it up as a fluke, and on Saturday went there for lunch with my brother-in-law. He had a meatball sub. He took a bite and there was a hair sticking out of the meatball. God, I want to hurl just talking about it.

So we walk in, at lunchtime,  in the middle of a spirited conversation, and upon opening the door, still talking, find that every head turned to look at us. Why? Because it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. No music, eerily quiet. We definitely stood out. No one else in the whole restaurant was talking, because they didn't want everyone else to hear their conversations. So we stop talking and eat in silence. Nothing could be heard except the clanging of forks. I felt like I was in an episode of  "The Twilight Zone". Anyway, it's totally silent until I'm forced to whisper to Dave that there's a hair hanging out of his meatball.

But it's not just that. The waitstaff does have a bit of an attitude; not friendly at all. And, while it's not necessary (or desirable) to be phony, you don't have to project that you absolutely hate your job. I went to the restroom to wash my hands and one of the waitresses, who was doing some table wiping and bussing, almost collided with me. No apology or even acknowledgement. I guess I'm just some pesky asshole who came into her world to get in her way. Also, it was about 50 degrees in there. So, unfortunately, Dino and Francesco's slides from two snaps up in a circle to thumbs down. We will not be returning.

The second revision is for Alfredo's in South Side. We previously liked it here, but after eating there four additional times, have to give it a thumbs down also. Why? The service. It's slow or simply non-existant. And it doesn't matter if it's crowded or not. You get exacly the same degree of service. There are dozens of Italian/pizza restaurants in this city with fantastic food and service, so we have decided we won't put up with the "pizza nazi" routine. Is it some kind of weird marketing practice that I'm unaware of to be rude or inattentive to your customers? I don't do it in my business because I want them to come back and refer me to others. Seems like common sense, but I guess not.

We hate to end on a negative note, so we will say that we've eaten at a few places recently that were exceptional. Reviews coming soon!