Friday, July 15, 2011

Guns Don't Kill People, Smokers Kill People. And Other Random Thoughts.

Disclaimer: This is gonna be a weird one. I'm tired.

Ah, Pennsyltucky. Home of archaic liquor laws (i.e., liquor will only be sold from 2:00 to 2:10 on Wednesday, at one of tens of  distributors in the state, and the buyer must be wearing a scarlet letter, and present proof of having been to church on Sunday) and that last bastion of civilization, smoking in restaurants and bars. If you are from here, this is the norm. If you've ever been anywhere else, you know this is totally fucked up. If you're coming to Scranton, don't forget to set your watch back 100 years.

Not all bars/restaurants are allowed to cater to smokers, there's some kind of weird rule regarding what percentage of food sales the establishment does. But it's more than enough to cramp our style. If we want to go out for a drink, we usually go to The Banshee, because so far, it's one of the few bars that doesn't allow smoking. And the food is pretty good.

We recently visited the Twelve Penny Saloon in Moosic:
It's a gay bar, and a cool place. Pool table, cute bartender, and friendly people. But we won't be back. Why? Because we've misplaced our government issued gas masks from our military days. We came out of there smelling like an ashtray and sounding like Bea Arthur. And we actually stripped before entering the house and left our clothes on the porch to air out. I'm not kidding! Luckily it was late and the neighbors were sleeping.We've toyed in the past with the idea of someday owning our own bar. It would be a lesbian bar, and we'd call it "The Wet Spot". Or maybe "The Watering Hole". But I digress.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not trying to outlaw smoking altogether (though it would be nice). I could care less if you want to kill yourself. Just don't try to kill me. Lots of other states got it right. In California, you step outside to smoke. It's that simple. So c'mon, Pennsylvania, lets get with the 19th century.

I've been slacking with the blog lately. There are a ton of restaurants that we've been to that we haven't gotten around to reviewing. I'm thinking of condensing reviews; maybe just two columns even, like sucks and doesn't suck. I also welcome guest reviewers. And have been thinking of doing a "best of " list. Like the best soup in town, etc.

Meanwhile, if anyone has any suggestions for smoke-free bars, please comment!