Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Kildare's Irish Pub

If there's one positive thing I can say about Kildare's Irish Pub, it's that the restrooms are great for sex. Haha..I'm kidding. Maybe.

Seriously though, Kildare's is an authentic-ish Irish pub located on Jefferson Avenue across from the train station. Well it was the train station back when we used to put vinyl records on the phonograph machine. Now it's the Radisson Hotel.

It's pretty comfortable inside, with a rustic Irish feel. They put some thought into the d├ęcor; the chairs and stools are different styles at each table, and there's a fireplace. There's approximately 45 separate bars within this place. Ok, I'm exaggerating, but there may be 5? It's a huge place, but wherever you're standing you are only an arm's length away from a bar.

They have hundreds of beers on the menu, like lots of places around here. It's a thing. I just won't go if they don't have my favorite chocolate bacon avocado quail egg stout. Actually we usually just order Yuengling. Tonight, however, Danelle ordered Fat Tire, which was a staple for us in California, but is a new thing here. I ordered a coke, which sucked. I don't think it was actual Coke. Not one bubble. Do you see a bubble?

So I too ended up getting a Fat Tire.

Tuesday night is $5 burger night, which is awesome. They have any burger on the menu for $5 AND they come with fries, chips or salad. And they make their own potato chips. They're quite tasty. The burgers are 1/2 pound, so we couldn't finish it.

They have all kinds of Irish food on the menu, like Shepherd's pie, Fish and Chips, Bangers and Mash, and of course, what's more Irish than a taco? Yeah, that's right, they have fish tacos.

They are getting ready for 1/2 way to St. Patrick's Day, which is a very important day here in Scranton. It's like a training day for the real deal. The police make sure the Paddy wagons are in working order, beer production is amped up, and we practice bar fighting and peeing in public. All while the theme from Rocky is playing in the background.

The place is not crowded at all on weekdays for dinner, which is why they have great food specials.

Friday and Saturday nights after 10:00, however it's a madhouse. That's when the kids come out, and it transforms from pub to club. We know this because we attended our nephew's birthday party here last year. Wall to wall twenty somethings. And it was way past our bedtime. I can't even believe we used to do this when we were that age, but we sure did. I can remember not even entertaining the idea of leaving the house before 10:00.

So here we are, music pounding, strobing lights, smelling 20 different kinds of cologne, trying to maneuver through the dense people traffic. I swapped DNA with so many people squeezing through that crowd that I ended up pregnant. No idea who the father is, but he wears Axe Body Spray.

We escape to the outside bar on the second floor, where we see a couple who are about our age. Biker looking people, but we don't feel so out of place next to them, so we sit at a table nearby. We strike up a conversation and they seem like nice people. But then the guy expresses amazement at the fact that we are out in public as a same sex couple and that we don't appear to be ashamed!  I'm not kidding. He said this. Danelle was winding up to give this guy a verbal kick in the nuts, so I dragged her out of there.

A word about the service. It's slow. But unless you're at lunch on a workday, who cares? Just simmer down and have a drink and wait for your food like civilized human beings, for crying out loud. Talk to the person you're with. Talk to the people next to you.
The food is good. Not great, but good, dependable food for a decent price. It's the kind of place you should go to once a week. It's a great place to have a drink. So do it! And stay out of the restrooms. You have no idea what people are doing in there.

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